If you’ve never been personally attacked in your comments, well - you just haven’t been blogging long enough. It all comes down to one universal truth. You can’t please all the people all the time.
Everyone responds differently to negative comments. Some people delete them. Some respond with attacks of their own. And still others take the high road, choosing to defend themselves in a respectful manner. I admire those bloggers with the ability to handle such unpleasant situations with that kind of tact.
Most of us are are familiar with Darren Rowse of ProBlogger. My good friend John Motson wrote a review of ProBlogger for BlogsWeLuv a while back. A reader left the following comment.
“Boo Boo Boo. Problogger is full of crap to line his pocketbook. He blogs about grass and makes you want to invest years blogging in hopes you will have a popular blog like his. Very hurtful to the normal blogger who has no clue that it will never happen. He is laughing all the way to the bank. Boo Boo Just like John Chow the con man.”
Darren actually took the time to leave a reply - a reply that earned him my utmost respect.
“Sorry you feel that way about ProBlogger. Yes I do blog to earn a living (something that I see from your blog you don’t seem to be against as it’s got it’s fair share of advertising and affiliate programs) but I also attempt to help those that I write for by providing information on what I do and what others are doing to make money from blogging.
I never promise anyone that they’ll get rich or become popular - in fact I’ve written many posts about how hard this is (examples).
Yes some bloggers out there talk about blogging as a get rich quick thing and hype it up - but I’ve gone out of my way to attempt to give a realistic understanding of what can be achieved and just how much work it takes.
In the end you can think what you like about me and my blog - but I’d encourage you to take a second look and to drop me an email if you think I need to be challenged on anything (always happy to take a look at constructive critique).”
I’ll admit that I haven’t been as professional as Darren in my responses to personal attacks. In most cases, I’ve completely ignored the offending remarks. But I’d like to change that. I’d like to present a more humane approach in the future. And I hope that you will choose to do the same. I think we can all learn a thing or two about integrity from Darren Rowse.
11 Responses
Jim | BloggingStartup
2008 Feb 22 1I was a bit surprised to see that the comment was written by the owner of a blog I regularly read! I love the guy’s blog, but have to strongly disagree with his opinion on ProBlogger. Darren has made it very clear that he does not promote a get-rich-quick mentality. His response does not surprise me. I would never put ProBlogger in the same category as John Chow.
Jim | BloggingStartup’s last blog post..Should New Blogs Allow Comments?
noelevz
2008 Feb 22 2I think what he did was very professional. He calmly explained his side and didn’t argue at all at the complainant.
noelevz’s last blog post..Masters of Paper Art - K. Hayashi
karaoke music videos
2008 Feb 22 3He did a very good job of writing a piece which defended his position, yet was respectful of the views of those who were leaving the comments on his site.
I can only hope I do half as well when I face that situation one day on my own site.
Mark
2008 Feb 22 4Tish, you touched upon something very difficult indeed. As a blog owner I’ve had my share of, shall we call it, “unprofessional comments”? It has definitely been an exercise for me to keep my composure when responding — that is, when I choose to respond.
There have been a few times when I’ve read my moderated comments and just wondered why it is that someone could write something like that. One answer that comes to mind is that they simply lack the social and/or writing skills to communicate on a friendly/professional level. Not everybody has that, but there’s nothing wrong with trying.
Another reason is that they figure that because they don’t see me, they can say anything they want in any fashion. But if we were face to face, I’d bet they’d be singing a different tune because they wouldn’t speak to people like that in a physical setting.
Yes, the Web is a blessing and a curse all rolled into one.
Mark’s last blog post..Today Is The Last Day To Enter!
Simon
2008 Feb 23 5I wonder if people sometimes take the approach that if they make abusive/negative comments that they will stand out and that way gain the attention of visitors who may then go and visit the commenter’s own blog.
Darren really shouldn’t have to defend himself, and sometimes I think these sort of comments should just be ignored.
Simon’s last blog post..Marie Stumbles Across…
Lin Burress
2008 Feb 23 6I have a lot of respect for Darren, and have learned a great deal by reading his blog regularly, amongst many others.
I don’t have any issues with John Chow either, although I don’t participate on his blog much at all.
Many people like to bash those who are doing well for themselves, but it sickens me when the bashing becomes oh so personal. Makes me think it evolves from jealousy and envy, but I don’t waste my time worrying about it either way. Found your blog through entrecard and wanted to share my view on the topic.
Lin Burress’s last blog post..5 Ways To Make Your Blog Posts SCREAM For Attention
Tom Ross
2008 Feb 24 7I haven’t yet had any personal attacks (fingers crosses) but completely agree that Darren took the right response. It’s not worth sinking to the level of haters.
Tom Ross’s last blog post..?Real Life? Blogging
Katy
2008 Feb 24 8I have to agree with comments made by Mark and Simon.
Often I have felt that people would act differently if they were looking at my face and not their computer monitor. Even though we are each individual people writing our individual blogs there are a lot of people that fail to see the words as human.
On the flip side, I like what Simon said about people leaving comments of that nature just to gain more attention. What it tends to do on my blog is generate a conversation all its own within the comments area. And while I don’t always enjoy the comment that sparked it, I enjoy watching a small community around my blog leave comments with their opinion.
Great post and way to give a shout out to Darren, he is indeed an excellent blogger.
Katy’s last blog post..The Purpose of My Design
Tom Ross
2008 Feb 25 9Wahey! I got my first abusive comments yesterday lol. Never nice to read.
Melanie Shebel
2008 Feb 29 10I’ve gotten one really bad one, but the guy wasn’t even logical about it and then he posted another to another post. He used a lot of opinion in his argument, but stated it as fact and said that I should be a case study… I mean it was a total personal attack.
castocreations
2008 Mar 04 11I just got my first disagreeing comment the other day and was SO excited. lol And I responded. It was great. I don’t know if some people don’t respond to me a lot because I moderate comments (I just hate Spam so very much) or what but I don’t mind disagreeing folks at all. I think it’s more fun.
castocreations’s last blog post..If Only…
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